I Don't Actually Miss My Ex

Which I find quite surprising, deep down. 
Allow me to explain.
Since the start of year ten, he was ALMOST my all-time best friend.  He was always tied top with Luli.
We could talk about basically anything, and be completely understanding with one another, no judgement, no nothing.
And while that's gone now, I thought I would miss it more than I do.  But I have Luli. I have Katie and Hanna and Anna and Lukey and Sarah and Danni, all of my gorgeous cousins, Sullay, Rach and Tom and I am so damned lucky to have them it almost hurts.  So I don't miss him. Not even a little bit.
In fact, I'm starting to see the perks of not being in a relationship.
Yeah, it still hurts a bit when I hear about him going out with this rainbow slag (I know, I know, I keep going on about how I don't blame her but it feels a little good to say that.), but it's okay. We were together for two and a half years, it's only reasonable to feel a little hurt, even if it is only instinct.  I don't conciously think about it.  In fact, when I do think about it, I kind of hope they're happy together, because I'd like it if someone else could have what we had and I'd like him to be happy too, even if I thought the happy lasted a little longer than he thought it did.  He's not a bad person, in my opinion.  I'm fairly sure I'm supposed to be hating on him and everything, but if he wants to be with someone else then fair enough to him.  Christ knows I was an annoying little whiner-bitch for a large chunk of the time.  So yeah.  If he wants to be happy with someone else, then okay.  It's not like he's in a great place at the moment either.  I genuinely think he wanted to avoid hurting me as much as possible, and for that I'm appreciative.  I don't really want to look at him so much, but I do appreciate it.  He could have gone ahead and cheated on me, but he had enough sense and respect to not.
But yeah.  Kind of on a downer now.  Let's perk me back up with discussing the obvious perks of not being in a relationship.
I can now flirt with whomsoever I damn well please.  And it feels EXCELLENT.  I am a naturally flirtacious person.  Mostly I don't even see myself doing it.  But now I can do it outrageously, and if I want to make something more serious of it I can.
I don't feel the need to shave as much.  I am saving a fair amount of cash on shaving foam and razors now, and providing I wear long sleeves or a jumper and a pair of trousers or leggings or something, no-one will ever know.  And that's going to get easier, what with winter almost here.  I fucking love winter.  I can wear my extra thermal layer of body hair and no-one will ever know!!  Except you, gentle reader, and for that I apologise.
I can now hang around with my male mates without even so much as a sniffle of jealousy.  I can watch movies and drink beer (AHEM, Tom. Not a hint or anything :P ) or kick some ass at Singstar (AHEM, Sarah) and I won't have to feel like I should plan ahead for how to phrase it when I discuss my day.
No more 3am text messages about role play groups (NOT the kinky kind, gutterminded peruser of my blog, the kind where grown ups play pretend with little figurines) or shepherd's pie or WHOOPS I seem to have missed my train, I will have to sleep at the house of my former crush.  Kid you not on that last one.  I stopped being iffy about it fairly quickly, but he was apologising for a long while.
I can watch as much Man Vs Food as I please and not have to listen to "American's are disgusting."
I will NEVER have my internet history searched through again.  That was stupidly embarassing. Let's not go there.
The only thing I miss, o' kind and sympathetic reader, is intimacy.
Not the sex kind.  Though some of that would be cool.
I miss cuddles. 
I miss being able to bury my face in his neck and breathe his smell and feel much better about the world.
I miss someone knowing exactly what to do when my stress levels are getting dangerously close to boiling point to calm me down.  That was damn useful.  And comforting.
I miss the little smiles and the eye contact and the hand holding.
Okay, to be fair, I miss sex quite a bit too, but I can always visit Ann Summers.
But yeah.  I'd love the love back.
Not with my ex.  Hell no. I swore to him I was never going back there and I meant it.
But with someone new it would be amazing.
I'll refer back to yesterday's post.  I make a pretty okay girlfriend.  And apparently my singing could make someone fall asleep. (So why, then, Kerry Pringle thought that I was annoying people I don't know. Perhaps the humanities office doesn't like Lady Gaga.  Though they coped just fine with the two girls who spent five minutes screaming their heads off outside the office.  Just. Saying.) In a soothing lullaby way.  I think.
I might put this on Facebook this time, rather than just in the secluded land of Twitter (comparatively secluded). Yeah, my ex's big brother is on there, and a couple of his mates, but his mates seem to have a sort of respect for me.
I walked by one of them on my way home today.  He greeted me.  This is already better than normal.  Normally it's a sort of grunt and a bob of the head.  Perhaps they have learnt to fear me.  This would be good.
On other notes, I am learning how to play a Rocky and Balls song very very slowly. Go youtube them. They are wonderful. I have a bowl of supernoodles with chili sauce.  My webcam mic is a load of shit.  One of the best singers I know told me I had a pretty voice.
I'm going to leave you, nice person, with a lyric from a damn good song.
You and me, best friends forever,
Call me soon, or maybe never!
HEY! Go fuck yourself.
Love to all, as ever xxxx