Time To Be Honest

Now I've managed to figure out how to remove people from reading this, I might as well inform you.
I am less than upset by the split between myself and Adam.
Now the obvious pangs of rejection are gone, I'm pretty okay with it.
We're not awkward, I'm realising just how incompatible we actually were.
It's all cool.

I am therefore back on the meat market.
And boy, is it one.
Already vaguely sick of being single but to be fair, I never really considered myself as in a relationship for the last couple of months.
Relationships require affection.
I do not even slightly miss sex.
Which is odd.
I do just miss cuddles.

It would appear that the most upsetting thing I have found about breaking up with the Ex is that I had to delete our Sims family.
We'd got to six spawn.
I'd grown attached.
They are therefore living in that space where you put all the families you haven't built homes for yet.

Perhaps it is time to revisit the Girlfriend Resume.  Christ knows it requires updating.
This is what I have so far: http://maddyandherwitterings.blogspot.com/2011/09/hint-to-crush-ive-got-going.html

Okay, well let's add to it.

  -  I'm very, very affectionate.  I occasionally wonder if I have an extra person's emotions in me.  Not in a multiple personality kind of way though.

Yeah okay I'm sort of stuck.
  - I can get you invited on good picnics? Subject to approval?

Alright, alright.  Stuck now.
Might start making a post a week.  Carry a notebook around and write all the time, then compile it into one big epic blogpost, like Sunday Secrets.
I have no material.
I'll go watch another episode of the Joy Of Teen Sex and work up some anger.
<3 XXXXXXXX

Serious Anger

Weak hearted blog readers look away now, because the word vagina or a nickname counterpart is going to come up a LOT in this.
The Joy Of Teen Sex is actually making the issues of teen girls a shitload worse.
I have just watched the majority of an episode involving a bloke with issues with premature ejaculation (no big deal, imho, there are ways to slow it down), a girl who was self-conscious about her stretch marks, a girl with PCOS and a special report from Billie JD Porter on the hatred spreading through teen girls over their vaginas.
The majority of these are fair enough issues, and I'm not saying the whole of the programme is bad.  The counselling and the medical stuff and even the sex life improvement is actually a seriously good thing to be sticking on our tellies in an effort to make sex better for teenagers.  Christ knows we have enough of it. (I blame the hormones.)
However.
Billie JD Porter is helping no-one.
I had not even realised that my vagina was something to be self-conscious about.
Apparently, your labia can't be too big, you have to be all shaved and look like a pre-teen to be attractive.  This is what I have taken from the reports of Billie JD Porter.
Can anyone else see something pretty glaringly wrong about this?
I'm pretty sure reports like this are supposed to be making girls feel more confident, like The Sex Education Show.
Uhm, no.
I am going to take myself as the average teen girl here.  There are going to be girls who are completely confident about their lady gardens and fucking good for them.  We should all be more like that!
However for me, the average teen girl in this picture, I actually feel worse about myself having watched the report.
Whilst having never ventured as far as to stare fixedly at my downstairs, I was fairly self-assured that it was normal.
Apparently, my lady garden shrubberies should go, and I should definitely consider having my bits shrunk to make them look neater.
Essentially, what this poor excuse for a teen reporter did was go to a club and ask stupid questions about vaginas like "Do you think they are beautiful?" and "What does the perfect vagina look like?", followed by concluding that porn had affected all our views of our downstairs areas.  She then went on to show EIGHT PEOPLE three pictures of vaginas, and because they all thought the neater one was prettier, that means we have warped views of vaginas too.  And then she talked to a labiaplasty doctor about how there were teen girls being referred to clinics to get their downstairs modified.
I fail to see how this is representative of our views of vaginas.
I do not care what my vagina looks like. If my pubes don't poke out either side of my bikini bottoms, I think I'm probably fine.  So long as my labia don't cause me medical issues, I don't see the problem with them.
Just because eight giggling teenagers thought a particular vagina was prettier than the others doesn't mean that all vaginas that are not "porn vaginas", as Billie JD Porter put it, are derided and rejected by men.
To be completely honest with you, penises are pretty hideous AND SO ARE VAGINAS.
I fail to see why we should care, too.
But because of the way this so-called "study" was reported, I am now wondering if my exes are comparing my vagina to other vaginas or possibly even laughing.
This is not how I should feel about my sex life (Non-existant as it currently is and seems to be staying.)
As I said, in my opinion all genitals are hideous, and the only thing remotely appealing about any of them is the pleasure you can get out of them.
So why should we care?  We could just accept that that is a part of our bodies that NO-ONE likes.
They aren't going to be symmetrical, they aren't going to be pretty, they are going to spurt stuff and have moles in awkward places and have hair.
Accept it and move on!
I found this on PostSecret the other week, and couldn't help but agree with it.

What I found more worrying is that some poor person felt like it was a secret at all.
Of course they are ugly.
We all know this.
What concerns me all the more is that there is no-one saying how ugly vaginas are.
They are ugly.
Very, very ugly.
So fucking what?
We ALL have these ugly bits between our legs, so what's the issue here? 
I made an angry angry Facebook status about this.

Three girls and a guy all agree with me that this is how Billie JD Porter's reports make them feel in general.
The girls are some of the most beautiful people I know and it makes me all the more angry that it's not just me.  I'm opinionated and loud and I jump to conclusions easily. These are SANE GIRLS who are self-conscious of their vaginas PURELY because this show has put it in their heads that other girls are conscious of them.
Seriously, Channel Four? This is supposed to make us feel BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES?
But it is not just the vagina hatred report that makes Billie JD Porter so hideously awful.
It is the way she reports on EVERYTHING.
She did a report on teen S&M.
She did a small section on going to a sex shop with two other girls and trying out stuff like paddles and handcuffs and the like, which is kind of okay.
Then she went to showing us a girl who spent her weekends dressed as a cat being her master's plaything, including butt-plug tails.
Where is the medium?
She also reported on this in such a way that played the poor girl up as a complete freak.
She actually seemed pretty nice, just into her niche stuff.
And that shouldn't have to be an issue. What people do in their own time is fine by me, and I don't think there are going to be that many people who are concerned by a girl who wants to be tied up and spanked.
Even if she has a tail.
Due to Billie's portrayal of this as such a deviant act, and to be fair it is quite extreme, any teen who might even be considering this is going to run a mile in the opposite direction and be derided as a freak.  That shouldn't be how it is.  How we can go from the sex advisor teaching a couple earlier in the show about how good spanking can be to having it subtly (and not even that subtly) ridiculed only a few minutes later is completely ridiculous.
The Joy Of Teen Sex can herald itself as open-minded and frank as often as it wants, but until Billie JD Porter can sort herself out or be sacked, I'd appreciate it if it would JUST GET OFF OUR TELEVISIONS THANK YOU.
It does not help that she looks about a size 6 and appears terrified by the sight of two people shooting a porn scene.
I have seen better programmes by Louis Theroux.
If Channel Four ever read this (unlikely, I keep it by invite only), they should probably take it to heart.
If three incredibly pretty girls and I can feel an awful lot worse about ourselves after watching your shows, you are doing it wrong.

Matt PRACTICALLY dared me to write a blog instead of doing coursework

To be completely honest, I know exactly what I'm doing for it so it doesn't really matter.

I have noticed, as the last year and a bit has worn on, that I have started to find the various youth subcultures cute rather than frightening, which is a pleasant change.
Chavs are still intimidating, don't get me wrong, but it's nice to know that in a few years time when they grow out of it and become proper grown ups, they are going to have pictures of themselves as teenagers looking like oompa loompas and because of their excessive photo taking and addiction to Facebook, these pictures of them looking like oompa loompas will be ALL OVER THE INTERNET.
Oh the bliss.
There will, no doubt, be pictures of me I also regret.
There are several that I know of already, and may post at a later date.
They regularly involve my poor facial skincare regime.
But anyway.
CHAVS ARE ORANGE.
They will forever have Internet evidence of how slaggy, socially inept and generally detestable they are.
Oh, does it ever make me giggle.
But I have started to find goths and emos slightly adorable as well.
They just ARE.
Like a friend of mine who has a glam rock band.
He frequently wears tartan skinny trousers with big patches of denim up and down them.
It's a bit adorable.
Again, he may later in life seriously regret these trousers, but right now he loves them.
And for that I respect him.
It is possible for me to reject him from my group of nice people (Not like throw him out or anything, the group of nice people is purely within my mind. Like an inner circle. Anyway.) on the grounds that his trousers are loud and a bit daft.
However.
He's actually really very nice.
He is within that subculture of youth that are actually doing something with their lives rather than hanging around in a park drinking some cheap cider that they got an older sibling with few morals to buy for them.
Personally, if I wanted booze, I would probably go via either my manager or the people I hang around with who are 18 and beyond.
I wouldn't be all stupid and give my money to a random stranger on the street to buy them booze.
My ex was frequently approached by 13 and 14 year olds to buy them booze because he looks about 40.  He's not, he's 17, but ya know.
I believe he ran off with the money once or twice.
Just to prove a point.
It continues to amuse me, despite the fact that he is now a cock.
He sent me another email.
Essentially, he wants contact.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Uhm, no.
Having discussed it with his mate (in a slightly heated manner because I was a bit accusatory and sort of bitchy but I was quite upset!!), he does not just want contact.
It's not really the point though.
He could just leave me alone, and that would be lovely.
I'm quite keen on the idea of NEVER HEARING FROM HIM AGAIN.
It would be lovely.
But yes.  Goths are adorbz because of all the makeup and the occasional blue hair streak.
Sully knows a goth.
She's pretty cool.
I had a migraine dream about her, so we'll actually be better leaving it there.

I'm essentially cheating on my film coursework. 
We're supposed to come up with an original idea.
I'm just using the novel I'm writing.
It's easier.

Speaking of which, that is what I am going to go and do.
I still have Sweet Child O' Mine stuck in my head though.
Must deal with that later.
Muchos amore <3