Daytime Television

It's actually shit.
The Barefoot Contessa is neither barefoot OR a contessa.
Seriously.
It's false advertising, and I swear she uses an entire KILO of salt everytime she cooks.
I kid you not.
She made this anniversary dinner for her friends, and their three year old and also their one year old.
AND GAVE THEM PRACTICALLY RAW MEAT.
And proceeded to eat with them.
Actually, Ina, I think if it were MY anniversary, I would prefer to eat cooked food, and not with some fat old whore who has a misnomer as a tv show, and keeps doing picnics with practically a whole salmon EACH as a STARTER.
No wonder your chins wobble when you walk.

However, not all daytime telly is a complete write off.
Especially when you get to watch shows, guilt free, that you haven't watched since you were wee.
Such as Little Bear.
Or perhaps Rolie Polie Olie.
And even the classic Tom and Jerry cartoons.
Which never get old, btw.

Nigella Lawson in her prime doesn't actually exude sex appeal.
I'm not kidding.
This was before they tarted her up and just made it so processed and ridiculous and fake that it's unbelievable.

Okay, run out of steam.

On Not Having Any More Homework, And Other Stuff

Study period. (Well, we'll get on to that).
Am sat, in the library, having a bit of a type and a catch up with homework, which is TECHNICALLY late but hopefully no-one will notice and I will still get paid.
All my homework is done.  No jokes.  And there are a good fifteen minutes before I can feasibly excuse myself from the library and wander on up to English, where I will witter about Hamlet and the like.
So I'ma sit here.
Bored.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
the bastards won't let me out of ACE.
For anyone reading this who DOESN'T know what ACE is, it's essentially an extra class where they chuck me in with a whole bunch of smart kids who are gonna do well in their exams and make them fundraise for a few months before we get on to the bit that I REALLY want to do.
Which is the extended project.
The extended project is gonna get me an AQA Baccalaureate, which is posh and lookings effing awesome when applying to Unis.  Which would be good, because I rather want to go to one.
HOWEVER.
I don't want to spend the next three months sat in a class of smart people thinking of ways to make money.  If I want to make money, I will get all my homework finished so that I can qualify for my ema, and then buy KFC with it.  Not that I'm doing that often, it's just a health thing.
No, KFC isn't healthy.
LOOK, let's just move on.
Basically, I have to stay for three months doing fundraisy crap so that I can get an AQA Bacc.  Which sucks hairy cock, if I'm honest.  I would much rather just take an hour and a half break to either just chill or do homework.  Today, homework.
Next week, I'm thinking coffee, cinnamon swirls and a decent book.
Maybe Hamlet.  I'm not saying it's this awesome book, I'm saying we're doing it for English and if I read that WHILE I nom, it'll look like so called "independant study".
Which I swear is just code for "get out of our hair, but make it look like you're working towards your marvelous A levels you're gonna get.
Which I will, for sure!
It's just that I'm doing that all damn week with hardly any rest and really, I'd just like to have a bit of a nap, catch up on some sleep, or even better just not do the homework the night before and instead do it in my ACE session.
There is really not much that is ACE about it.
Such a goddamn misnomer.
Has anyone noticed it's really damn cold today??
I mean, it's not a random change of subject...  Well, it is.
NOT THE POINT.
My little finger hurts it's so cold!!  I do not see how people open windows in this weather.  I miss my granddad jumper!!
Okay, 14 minutes to English.  What else can I tell you?
Oh, yeah.
Boyfriend-best friend bonding time sounds a LOT worse out loud.
*Facepalm*
Gotta talk to him about that.
Really, I just intended for it to be like a movie the three of us went to watch, because he abides my best mate, and I appreciate that.
Right, now, I'm not kidding or anything, but a girl in my Socio class turned up today in hot pants.
Now, I'm really not joking, and I'm not joking when I say that the temperature outside is ....  *waits for BBC to load* at a maximum of 17 degrees celsius.  I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.  The lowest it could be is twelve.  And HOT PANTS????
I mean sure, stick tights underneath em, but I'm freezing in my jersey dress, coat, scarf, jeans, long socks and converses. 
So she might just catch hypothermia.
I'd be worried if I didn't think she should just have more sense than that.
Hot pants are not acceptable after August.
Which makes me sound like one of those posh tarts from America who talk about white shoes after Labor Day or whatever, but REALLY.
HOT PANTS??
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD???
Stupid woman.
I also don't get these people in just leggings and a tshirt.
Sure go around in that if you're just cleaning or slobbing or hormonal or whatever.
But just out and about?
We don't want to see your thong through your leggings, and trust me, ladies, we always can.
ALWAYS.
Okay, three minutes.
The inventer of the Segway appears to be dead.
Oh dear.
He did make those Spanish policemen (probably Spanish) look like twats though...
ANYWHO, I'm off.
Leave some comments.
Argue with me, if you like.
Just remember, I love you.

I Hate FaceBook

It's got plus points, yeah.
You can spy on exes.
You can spy on pretty much anyone, and post photos of people who don't have FB with them looking stupid and they'll never know.
You can keep up with people you don't particularly care about but feel an obligation to.

And then there's the downside.
When it crashes, and all you wanna do is post:
Maddy Heal is going to play this song on repeat until it drives her parents insane, then play it one more time.


*Sigh*

On Being Sat In Tutor, A Wee Bit Bored

Let's be honest here, that's basically all there is. 
Blogging away.

*Deep Sigh*

The English trip to France has been cancelled, and I am deeply upset.

I wanted to go to France.  I miss speaking the occaisional French to make myself feel like a smarty pants.

AND I really like pain au chocolat, which Joe spelt very wrong in his story about Hitler Pig, but it's okay, because the rest of it was pretty good.  It is called Piglet, and you can find it here.

Read it, because it's a fascinating allegory of the World War Number 2, and also it has pigs, which makes any story better.  He also has relatively fascinating opinions, so read some of the other stuff he's written too.

Although I feel you should also read A Smack Of Fate, which I co-wrote.

It has Destiny's Child as fairy godmothers, and a scientist called Derek.  You should love it.

Something I find frankly infuriating, however, is that people seem to think their college courses are more important than me obtaining pastry!!  Je ne comprende pas.  Pastry, c'est bon!  Especially cinnamon pastry.  Speaking of which, cinnamon is VERY good in crumble, but I would recommend making the topping with brown sugar when making apple crumble, as it creates a kind of toffee-ish flavour, which very much complements the apple and improves the crumble on the whole.  I may make another, with plums, tonight, if my dad can get off his arse and get some plums.  And some shoelaces.  White ones would be nice.  But I doubt that will compute, so my converses may look a little funky tomorrow.

Thinking about crumble is making me hungry.  Not great when I have "Lunch Surprise"!  It's not that it's a particularly scary thing or anything.  It's just that I don't know what it is, which is less than satisfactory.

Here is a picture of a cinnamon swirl:

They are ludicrously yummy.

If a cinnamon swirl is a new thing to you, then I would recommend going forth into a baker's and buying one, as your culinary adventure is not complete without one.

Okay, now I'm REALLY hungry.

Really, really, stupidly awfully hungry.

And I'm going to have to spend my last quid on pastries at lunch.

Stupid pastry craving.

Well, what can I tell you about my weekend.

My cousin got married.

I drank more in a night than I do in a year.

Danced ONCE to Cotton Eyed Joe.  Which I will now get stuck in my head.

I ate turkey.  I don't regret it, it was that or nutloaf, and it is a MYTH that all vegetarians like that shit.

I got invited to stay by ALL of my older cousins (some with less crowded houses than others.  For example, where Dave and Farah and Karen and Shaun are little duo units, Alan and Chae have four kids.).

The pope also visited, but not us.  Mainly probably because my family are protestant if anything, and mainly not religious.  I'll be honest, I goldfished all the hymns and cracked jokes in my head throughout most of the service.  "God may not be visible, but he is all around us"  "IF I CAN'T SEE HIM, HE'S NOT THERE".

I'm ashamed of me too.

Yes, I'm going to hell.

But hey.

They'll have invented immortality by the time I get old enough to kick the bucket.

Pastry :(

And, actually, just general food would be nice.

38 minutes til lunch.

I could write some of my VAGUELY erotic pirate story.  (Can you blame me?  Really?)

If the feeling takes me, I could write for hours.

However.

The only feeling I have at the moment is "PASTRY"

33 minutes to go.

Trying to renew my library books.

Sadly, the internet at college is beyond a pisstake.

More than likely because there are about fifty people in here trying to log on, plus all the apple macs in the musicy bit, plus any number of other stuff.

GAH.

And apparently I need to go pick up the great gatsby.

I don't want to.

I got about five pages in and nearly died of boredom.

It's actually mostly pirate books I have.

FOR RESEARCH.

:P.

Okay, mostly research.

Not that there are that many pretty pirates in there anywho.

Okay, everything is now due on the 21st of October.

Should probably get reading them.

Want food :(

PASTRYYYYYYYYYYY.

Looking forward to next Thursday, where I have to come into school for fifteen minutes only.

HAHA.

I fully intend to go out and spend my ema.

Probably on food.

Maybe I will ask Aaron, who has a blog here if he would like to go to Yo Sushi the monday after next instead, because I will have ema then too.

In defence of my eating habits, sushi might be raw fish, but actually it's rather yum, and you can get veggie stuff and chickeny stuff and beefy stuff too.  And puddings!  They have really nice little glutinous parcels.  Mmmmmmmm.

Sadly, with the internet so rubbish here, I cannot load it up to check the policies on Blue Mondays.

I really need to get a decent student ID, too.  Mine does NOT qualify me for discounts, which sucks cock.

Hmm, hello.

Is that extra discount I see??

Ah.

Ends today.

Bastards.

SO VERY HUNGRY.

Signing off this now, because I'm being repetitive and dull.

Exactly why Matt Day will not be getting any of my EMA.

A concise list:
1) I am working to get that money.  I take five a levels and am doing an extended project.  I do not see him doing my homework!!
2) He's a bit creepy, tbh.
3) MY MONEY.
4) MINE.
5) I rather want to use it to get needles shot through my ears.
6) And possibly a new dress.