Wittering. Again. You Know, To Go Along With What It Says On The Tin.

As I said, I have a blog app now.  Not one that you can download (Probably. I dunno. Ask Carl.) but it is still largely exciting.
Hence why I am now posting pictures in a slightly giddy fashion.

I think you'll agree that that is BEYOND exciting.

I've sort of been distracted from blog writing by Sarah (that bitch) who is discussing with me Carl's wedding, and has therefore sent me pictures of what she intends to wear.
This bearing in mind that they're not getting married for at least a year yet, and yet we already have outfits planned.
Needless to say, we have sheltered and boring lives.
I am planning on clashing as much as possible, giving the union jack shoes and the electric blue dress an airing, plus a bright red jacket and something outlandish on my head.
You know, as you do.
Sarah was planning on something gothy, as SHE does.
She looks quite good in gothy stuff.
When I say quite, I mean that she looks HOT in gothy stuff, but I'm really supposed to be toning down the lesbianism at the moment.
She therefore linked me to a dress, which she will look awesome in. (Toning down from NOW.)
I have, therefore, been distracted by the fact that they have rockabilly dresses, which are my eternal calling, and also attempting to find something outlandish to wear on my head for such a wedding.
This is mostly limited to Etsy, as John Lewis, being the only other place they really do well made fascinators, don't really cater for eccentricity.
Which I have by the bucket load.
They also don't seem to understand that red and electric blue look HOT together.
They do.
Really.
Something like a blue one of these.
Have now pointed out to Sarah that buying £75 shoes (!!!!) online is ridiculous.
She agrees, praise be.
I am now essentially surfing the net trying to find her similar shoes, cheaper and in a shop where she can go try them on.
I figured it would be easier, thereby jinxing it, ofc.
I FOUND ONES SHE LIKED.
Get in.
We are discussing whether or not the shoes are wedding appropriate.
The decision: We don't really give two shits.
Wedding etiquette is for boring people.
And anyway, it's not like we're turning up in white.
Just, ya know, all the other colours.

Still trying to find her the perfect shoes.
I keep forgetting she can handle her heels better than me, and so keep looking at slightly lower heels.

She's gone.
Bored now.
May spam Carl with texts til I'm bored.

I think I hate ankle strap shoes on everyone.
I do not see the point in them.
You can just have a nice strap over the top of your foot instead.
They just make calves look FAT.
FAT FAT CALVES.

I don't honestly understand what WOULDN'T be wedding appropriate, providing it's fancy?
This may come from my brother going wearing sandals and the like, but seriously.
Just because the shoes have skulls on them.
It could be worse.
It's not a meat dress or anything.
And yeah, white is a bit weird, but only if you're wearing a maxi dress or something.

I AM GETTING A PICTURE MESSAGE :O
IT'S FROM CARL :O
IT'S MY FAVOURITE MEME :D
Later, I will upload it.

New Look now do Iron Fist shoes.
Slightly upsetting, due to the fact that now the chavs will wear them.
We are far from hipsters, Sarah and I, but we don't need our weird shoes legitimised by the orange beasts.

I'm tempted to make a post dedicated to the people I talk about in the blogs.  Just for pictures and such.  It's nice to put names to faces and faces to names.
Tempting.
For the reference of this post, these are Carl and Sarah. (The pictures are basically just stolen from their Facebooks, so they aren't allowed to get pissy because the photos are ALREADY ON THE INTERNET.)

Carl

Sarah

The captions were in case it wasn't already obvious.
Might have chopped Carl's up a bit, if only because there was a lot of background and it will make the screen go all wide after I post this, and there is nothing more irritating than an unnecessarily wide webpage.

I do not understand clothes with cut out bits.
What the hell is the point?
At a recent party, there was a girl wearing a dress with cut outs.
She was skinny, and the cut outs were at her middle.
Due to the fact that she had no hips, the dress spent the night sliding down past her knicker line.
For me, this was HILARIOUS.
For her, quite embarrassing.
Have I mentioned she was 14?
She was 14.
Anyway, cut outs.
Not exactly going to keep you warm.
And so SO inappropriate on a 14 year old.

I think I'm okay with cut out backs.
And possibly cut out fronts.
It's just in the middle that upsets.

I realise now that I am my mother.
Goodnight.