The First Write-It-In-My-Free Blog For AGES

I'll do some filling in for you, I haven't actually done a decent blog in ages.
A lot of bitching, as far as I can see, but nothing particularly interesting.
So maybe I'll do something good in this one.

Chris Evans is playing Layla and talking to people who play lutes.  It is clearly going to be one of those mornings.
Yes, yes I should definitely be doing my essay on Mephistopheles, if only I cared.
I'll do it eventually.
Ellie won't have done it, so I can totally blame it on him.
He managed to cover himself in Creme Egg yesterday.  It was hilarious, I took pictures and I will devote a post to it later.

What did I do last week?
I recall promising you my further adventures into adulthood.
YES.
Hanna's birthday.
Fairly hilarious evening.
I wore my only piece of REALLY vintage clothing. I have a lot of stuff that pretends to be vintage but does just look vintage.  My only piece of REAL vintage is my white dinner waistcoat. 
It is TECHNICALLY a man's waistcoat.  I could not care less.  I frequently wear men's clothing.  I am wearing men's clothing as we speak, in the form of hat, cardigan and shoes.
What makes my waistcoat REALLY cool, apart from the fact that it's a vintage dinner waistcoat, is the buttons.
The buttons are FRUIT SHAPED.
FRUIT SHAPED BUTTONS.
So exciting.
I am forever in debt to Cathy at Hepwright's who is a goddess and spent far too much of her time putting two apples and a lemon onto my waistcoat for me.
Anyway, wore the waistcoat, black blouse and cardy, green jeans and my black prom shoes, which appear to be becoming my standard going out shoes, as I am planning on wearing them to Carl's thing which is... Friday?  Oh bloody hell.  Carlos, can you give me an estimate of when it'll be finishing? I'll either need to get a night bus or get a lift home.  Ergh, organising.
Back to Hanna's thing. I am nothing if not marvellous at...  Oh my Goodness I've forgotten the word.
Ohhhhhhh.
It begins with a D.
Anyway.
I got off the subject.
I turned up at the pub in town (The Giddy Bridge, not bad) and started looking for people I knew.
About twenty seconds later I realised I was a fairly feeble woman, alone in a fairly rowdy pub.
Concerned for my welfare and despite the weather, I decided to wait outside for someone to arrive, as I was at least five minutes late and reasoned that if I was late, people must come along soon.
Specifically Hanna.
How wrong I was.
I texted both Hanna and Ellie in an effort not to be alone.
Ellie was in ASDA and on his way, so that was alright.
Hanna called me off her boyfriend's phone a few minutes later, telling me she had had what she called a "wardrobe crisis" and would be there when she could.
Five minutes later I was joined by Jess and Vince, and subsequently Domi, who I have now met and is lovely, so I added her on Facebook.
As you do.
DIGRESS.
The word was digress.
I digressed.
There we go, much better.
Anyway, we grabbed a table, Vince bought two beers at once and we waited for Hanna.
Who turned up 45 minutes late for her own party, hilariously.
Her "wardrobe crisis" was that she had decided her dress was too short and went to take it back, bought a jumpsuit to wear that wouldn't do up, and then re-bought the original dress as far as I can tell. 
It was outrageously short.
And very tight.
And could be undone with a zip that went all the way down the front.
But anyway, we all got a little tipsy, I flirted with Luke, and then Ellie and I got a little bit kicked out because he doesn't have any I.D. 
Whoops.
There's a good reason for that, but don't tell the bouncer.
We'd got into the pub before the bouncers were even out, to be fair.
It was a pretty good night though.
Apparently there are a lot of pictures of feet on Jess' camera, but because she's a numpty and chose to do the IB, she is too stressed to spend her time uploading any photos.
Something like 15 exams.
SO glad I didn't pick it.
Was apparently clever enough.
I completely disagree.
I am and will forever remain in complete awe of anyone who does the IB, as they have to put up with so much.  All the exams at the end of two years and SIX SUBJECTS.
Six.
That includes science and maths and stuff.
I'd have DIED.
I'm surprised no-one HAS.
Like this:

Like I said, forever in awe.
AND I discovered Malibu.
Malibu is gorgeous.


Apparently, people have been instructing Ellie on what to allow me to wear for Carl's party on Friday.
Unimpressed.
Will wear what I please.
TO BE FAIR I am a lot more sedate in what I wear now than I was when I was 14 or so.
For example, I used to wear neon pink shoes with neon blue hoodies.
Now I have neon pink with a fairly sedate green and a nice hat.
I fully intended on just going a little bit vintage, maybe some slag shoes, enough lipstick to blind people.
The usual.
May go a little overboard because now I feel restrained.
See, I WASN'T planning on doing anything like this:

If I could just BE Helena Bonham Carter, I'd be a happy bunny.

But now...
How quickly can a top hat be crocheted, do you suppose?
Having found a pattern, it will only take me a few hours, and so is completely achievable in the three days I have left.
Hmmmm...
Casually stick a link in so I can find it later.
How difficult would it be to attach a veil?
Hmmm...
I think I'd look delightful.
Perhaps add a parrot.
To match the parrot skirt.
How many colours CAN you get in one outfit?
I think later I will go home and experiment with this idea.
I have bright red shoes, electric blue dress.
Green tights somewhere.
Although, if I borrow Lu's mum's hot pink sandals, I can wear my bright red suit jacket.
That's a plan.
I also have yarn that makes spots.
Or yellow.
Ooooh, yellow.
A yellow top hat, blue dress, red jacket, green tights, hot pink shoes.
Excellent.
I have a plan.
I feel like this is apt vengeance.
How many colours do I not have?
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet.
Red jacket, orange... HAIR, yellow top hat, green tights, blue dress, pink shoes (it'll do), purple... nails and jewellery I think. 
Cracking.
The ENTIRE rainbow.
I wonder if I could persuade Ellie to take part in this revenge...
He's got braces with musical instruments on them, a couple of colourful shirts...
This is entirely possible.
Oh, this could be so much fun.

I have no idea what this is, but it sums up the concept of what I plan to wear this week.

Hula hoops!  Why didn't I think of that?

How I'm going to look after I'm done co-ordinating.

 I am acutely aware that the people next to me are laughing, possibly at me.

Which means I'm going to bitch about how it's a library, could you put your fucking sandwiches away, please?

I could make a stripey top hat to wear.
I have loads of colours of yarn.
Yellow, pink, green...
Two types of pink, actually.
Hmmm.
Hehehehehe.
I'll give you loud.
People need to learn that I see restrictions as challenges.
Stupid people.
Thinking about it, I could paint my nails in all the colours I have.
And I have a lot.
More than I have nails.
Thing is, if I get masking tape, I can put more than one colour on each.

Bloody hungry now.
I always get like this.
My whole lunch consists of an Easter Egg, because instead of doing stuff like packing my lunch this morning, I went on Facebook.
Bloody laptop.
It glitters, which is SO exciting, but because it is so exciting I want to be on it ALL the time.
Which means my stomach suffers.
And I'm not sure I'm going to be able to explain to Ellie that I need lunch off him again.
And I really can't do that or we can't have drinks on Friday.
Which I have already told him he has to pay for because I'm broke.
Which is completely true.
Think I'm going to have to persuade my mother to lend me a fiver.
I get paid the day after the party.
So very, very irritated.
I think it would be better if I got paid every two weeks.
I can make a fiver last a while, but when I have a big chunk of money it goes in minutes.
Which sucks.
I am so, SO bad at money.
Very bad.  VERY bad.
It would be a lot better for me to just get someone else to give me a daily allowance on all my moneys.
Then, I might not plan on going and getting more holes stuck in my ears and buying train tickets the second I get any money in.

25 minutes left of this free.
I am definitely not allowed to come back on Blogger after my mid-morning break.
I have an essay and coursework and so many other constructive things to be doing.
And yet, I will probably be back on here finding pictures of crochet top hats.

Or better.

Crochet. Pirate. Hat.
Sold.

Oh HELL yeah.
I am going to look SO good on Friday.
Get a giant feather.
Got distracted by crochet patterns now...


This is genius.
Not crochet, but genius.
http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=388327.0
Oooooooooh, I want.
I particularly want the green ones.

Right, I'm leaving.  If there are any more blog posts after this yell at me, I HAVE to do work.
Also yell at me if I don't show you my top hat in progress.
LOVES. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX